Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Changes

I know I've been a serious SLACKER in the blogging department and haven't been meeting my end of the bargain in displaying pics and posts for your viewing pleasure. Well, I do have a good excuse and promise to uphold my blogging obligations very soon.
There have been some huge decisions I have had to face in the last little while that have changed my life dramatically. As hard as and as heart breaking as it's been I'm trying to make the best of it and turn it into a positive situation. Some of you may know what's been going on and for those of you don't I promise everything is fine and the blog will be up and running in no time at all.
There are some things that I don't feel are necessary to post and are just a little too personal and hit too close to home to talk about just yet, but the basis of what is going on that Jackson and I are no longer going to be together. I feel slightly embarrassed to even have to announce this, partly because of my pride and partly because I can not for the life of my freaking self believe I am here again, but I know it'll come out in the works sooner or later and would much rather the info come straight form the source and not passed from one person to another and turned into something it's not, which is easy to do.
Jackson is a great person and I have zero animosity towards him. In fact I almost wish I did because it would make this situation a million times easier. One favor you can all for me is please don't be too quick to point the finger...meaning, this has been very difficult for both he and I and I'm sure very hard on our families and if there is one thing I have learned through this it is that our Heavenly Father is the only one that can judge, thank goodness, and Jackson is beating himself up over this enough and doesn't need anyone else to. He was a huge part of my life for a very long time & I hold he and his family in the highest regard and want them to know how much I love and respect them.
Marriage is something I take very seriously and it's hard not to feel like a failure when you have tried at something for sooo long and just can not seem to get it to work. That is why I am trying with my very best efforts to look back with no regrets and take everything I have learned to make me a better person and use it to strengthen me and use it for the future. I truly believe if you have learned from a situation, good or bad, then it's never in vain.
I have a great support system and do not know how I got so lucky. It's times like this that I feel closest to my Savior. I know I need him every second of the day to get through it which causes me to be completely dependent upon him. I have felt great peace and his overwhelming love for myself and for Jackson these passed few weeks and I know for a fact that there are many nights my sweet mom has had her arms around me giving me her comfort. It's crazy how sometimes trials can make your testimony grow so much!
I am absolutely okay and know it will only continue to get better. One of the things I hate most is when people feel sorry for me. I have hit a rough patch but will pick myself up and move on. I have such an amazing life full of people I love. I in no way feel cheated and am glad for the experiences I've been through. I feel very strong and know that one day I will be able to look back and understand a little more why certain things happen.
With that said, I will soon be changing my blog address and will post it asap so you all can change it on your friend list....I'm sure it'll be something lame like keeleeandwillis.blogspot.com, haha. Willis is my dog/child for those of you who don't know. Thank goodness for my stupid little dog!!! Whoa, that was a looong post, thanks for sticking it out. TTFN

30 comments:

Brooke said...

I love you and I'm so proud of you for putting it all out there and standing tall. I'm sorry this had to happen and Jackson's absence will be felt in the family. We love him and wish him all the best. I don't worry about you because I know you'll be fine, and I will be here for you every step of the way.

Mike and Joy said...

Keelee- I don't know what to say because I feel like if I say that I am sorry that you will take it as me feeling sorry for you... So, just know that I am thinking of you. Of course, I have no idea what is going on, but I am proud of you for having such a positive attitude. Can't wait for the new blog link.

Lizz Pizza said...

Wow, well... if it helps, I can say that I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! I'm sorry my love. We need to go out and cause trouble! ;-) Call me..please! I love you!

BeckyIrwin said...

Like I always say, "your amazing!" You know I am here for you and time and day! Really, I promise to do more listening and less talking! Girls night needed soon!

Jamie said...

Life can definitely be crazy at times but you are approaching it with the best perspective and attitude :) Things will get better and you will understand all the pain some day......You are a strong girlie and I admire you for that!

Blake and Jenn said...

Keelee! Your post almost made me cry. You are such a strong person and I know you'll make it through. Your faith in Heavenly Father is such an exmaple. I'll be praying for you and Jackson...

Stephanie said...

Well, umm...I think you're pretty cool, and I love my hair after it's been touched by your amazing hands. And, maybe with your new blog address I'll actually add you to my friend list...cause I kind of slack in that department. I like our hairdresser/client therapy...you know, where we talk about life and stuff. I wish I could come every week--but that's expensive therapy. Ha!

Neena said...

Keelee I just can't stop thinking about you after reading your blog this morning. I know this is cheesy but I love this quote and I want to share it with you.
When you come to the red sea place in your life!
Where in spite of all you do
There's no way back
There's no way round
There's no other way but through
Then trust in the Lord with a faith supreme
Till the night and the dark are gone.
He will part the waves
He will still the strom
As He says to your soul GO ON!
Love ya lots!

ScHnEiToWn said...

Keelee,
I think the world of you and wish you the very best in this new adventure. You are an incredible person and I feel lucky to call you a friend.

PS bunco real soon i promise!!

Kara said...

Keelee,
Just wanted to let you know we are thinking about you! Let us know if we can do anything.

Ike and Bethany said...

Keelee,
You are such a wonderful person. I wish you the best of luck with everything.

Los Springer said...

Keelee I love you!

The Weight Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TBird and Mikelle said...

Okay you are a way better person than I! I don't worry about you at all I know you will be just fine.. love ya and I will be thinking of you!

Kristen said...

Oh sweetie I am so sorry. I'm so glad you have as good of an attitude about the whole situation as you do. Very wise beyond your years :). Things DO happen for a reason. Only time will tell, but I know things will get better if you hold onto the Savior and your wonderful support system. You'll be in my prayers. Love you!!!

Patty said...

Keelee, You are such an amazing person. I am so proud of you. I know the decision made was hard, but I know you are a strong person, and you will learn so much from this. If you need anything let me know.....Welcome to the club!

Team Fraser said...

Keelee * Bunco * Blogs
ok so I can't wait for bunco either. And just so you know you have the best hair ever...well Jami too. You are in my prayers! And who new stupid little dogs do have their place in the world!
P.S. Make sure I am invited to your new blog...lbfraser00@gmail.com

DeJong Family said...

Love ya Kee!

Isaac and Dallas said...

Hey thanks for the dinner it was awesome! You're the best. My kids absolutely love you. Your one of a kind. and don't think for one second that we love you. You're an amazing person and we love you so much. Call any time you need a shoulder to lean on.

carlston said...

Keelee,
If you ever need to get away from it all, you have a place in Colorado. I know of great spa in the mountains where you can spend the day doing nothing at all and thinking of nothing at all. We sure love you.

britta said...

Love you Keelee! What a great blessing the knowledge of the Savior is. Congratulations to you for utilizing the knowledge you have to support and strengthen you through your life. Best wishes always!!!

Marissa said...

You are the most beautiful, amazing girl I know and you will totally get through this. I love you so much!

Brooke said...

You are such an amazing woman Keelee, best wishes in the coming days.

Jenny said...

I could definitely feel the Spirit as I read this post. You are an amazing person with an amazing outlook on life and the gospel.

I know that you now find yourself in a place you never wanted to be, but I know you will be a better person because of it all. You'll still have bad days when you just want to curl up on your bed and cry your eyes out. And that's okay. Take whatever time you need and don't feel that you need to be "over it" in any certain amount of time. You WILL get through it all and you will find yourself in a very happy place again.

I love you tons and I completely look up to and admire you. Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you.

"Faith in the Lord means having faith in HIS timing."

Dave*Ashley*Sloan said...

You are a beautiful person inside and out. I hope for nothing but the best for you. You'll be in my prayers.

The Burnett Family said...

Keelee, We love you and our thoughts and prayers go out to you and Jackson. I love your testimony, I truly have lots to learn from you.

Tiff said...

Good luck! As everyone else has said you are an amazing, strong and beautiful person. I admire you for standing up in what you believe in and for yourself!!

Leeflangs said...

Keelee I love and respect you so much. You are a strong person. I learn a lot from your strength and spirituality. I was watching my wedding video the other day and your advice to me was, "Melissa, my advice is don't waste your time worrying about the little things in life because you'll need it for the big things." Thanks for your advice because I have needed numerous times in my life. I love you and would love to go to dinner one night.

PhiLeshKo said...

Awe Kee I love you! It has been way to long since we have "chatted" It is times like this I wish we were still working right next door so we could still chat as frequently! Hope things are going ok! We should do a little girls night with the Chelsea's and Michelle.

Jennifer said...

So sorry to hear it, Keelee. I have huge respect for you, and love ya tons!
Jen Stott